In Good Times and In Bad
Well. Here we are. Day 1 of the European travel ban that Trump placed on the states for the next 30 days. In a normal scenario, I’d shrug it off and roll with it. Although I’d observe, I wouldn’t get caught up in the emotions and opinions about it. But in my case, the circumstance is not what I’d call normal.
Brett and I are planned to be married on May 4th, at a breathtaking castle overlooking the water in Spain. As of now, the ban should be lifted April 11th and our deposit is due April 14th. I cringe at the amount of money we will potentially lose if we cancel or move it, but my body heaves with tears knowing we have friends and family who have purchased tickets, finagled childcare, ordered dresses, ordered tuxedos, and moved proverbial mountains just to be a part of our special day. Although I understand the coronavirus is well beyond anyone’s control, I can’t help but feel a tremendous amount of guilt, disappointment, and frustration. Overwhelmed doesn’t begin to describe the frantic swirling thoughts whizzing through my head.
I am the first to admit that I was someone who thought this whole thing was blown out of proportion. “It’s just the flu.” But even while I expressed that opinion there was a tiny piece of that sentiment eating at me. It wasn’t until yesterday, (before Trump’s announcement) that I really understood what was bothering me. At some point, it clicked that these extreme actions (things shutting down, events getting canceled, travel bans, etc.) are protecting people like my 80-year-old Nana. They’re protecting a friend’s precious baby who has a heart condition. They’re protecting a former version of myself - the immunocompromised people whose bodies are riddled with cancer. And so many others.
These restrictions are miserable - and for some, financially crippling. The emptiness of the events that have been canceled is palpable. Students are missing out on the magic that universities offer. People are unable to visit their family members that are in receiving full-time care in a facility. Wondering if your favorite local businesses can survive this, is frightening. Canceled concerts, sports programs, festivals, travel abroad programs, and adventures - gone.
But this is so much bigger than us, than you, than me. Things get very real when you or a loved one are among the population that is vulnerable. Most people would do anything to keep themselves or their loved ones safe. Most people want to be a part of the solution. Unfortunately, in this case, the solution is really difficult, but it is necessary in order for us to gain control over the spread of the virus.
This isn’t to minimize the devastation caused by the restrictions. The shutdowns have been so disappointing. But maybe, just maybe, the world could hit the pause button to allow themselves to realize that we can collectively work together (albeit, mandated) to help the people who need it the most - the sick and the elderly.
Postponing or canceling a wedding (or any event) is heartbreaking. The emotions that come with these circumstances are warranted. A friend of mine from high school reached out to me saying, “Let the tears roll and feel everything you need.” I think that is good advice to take. I know I’ve shed some tears and I have plenty more to cry. But I found that acknowledging the bigger picture has helped calm some of the negative emotions and has made me feel that I'm doing my part and helping those who really need us right now. I know they'd do it for me.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
